Category Archives: plain fun

quid pro quo

rockin' today's and yesterday's goods!

Today was Day 2 of  “Art Swap” for Ciara and me.  Quite the artsy kindreds, we met briefly about a month ago and soon spoke of getting together to do what we do best. I never quite knew if we would meet again in that capacity as most people here  just say, “Yeah, that’d be awesome”. . . and flake. I’m so glad she was a homie and made time for it. Naturally goodtimes were had with each swap.

I am trying to learn as much as I can as art is clearly what I should have done in Undergrad.  And after my first installment of playing catch-up I’m feeling more  like I could actually pursue art as a career. Whether that be as a designer or a teacher of such things is still unclear.

Anywho, here are the fruits of Art Swap Spring Break 2010. Ciara taught me screen printing and ceramics, I imparted my limited knowledge on a favored accessories like bows and tings.

These past two days have been grand. Learning in a stress free environment has reignited  my curiosity and inspiration. I hope we get to swap again soon.

-brainstorming

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good medicine

Oh Happy DAY! and new year! This is my first post of the year. I’ve started this year filled with denial, that I’m not sick. It’s been about a week now and I’ve still got the ickies. Naturally ,I’ve turned to watching hours of my favorite british shows, (Coupling, Little Miss Jocleyn, etc.) while downing gallons of soup and O.J. for a smack back into reality. I really think it’s working, the british part.

To ail my anguish in 4am coughing fits/queasiness I started scribing some of my favorite and most random quotes. I couldn’t just let them go to waste in my daily skittish memory so, I’ve provided a list of a few keepers. Please enjoy these and use them at your will.

Things women/single people in their 30s might say:

-death is the best argument for moisturizer.

-a womans breasts are a journey; the destination are her feet.

-bet she doesnt lay on her back and fill her armpits.

-having a bottom is like living with the enemy. They flirt with the wrong men when we’re not looking.

– i’m only 30 and I have a neck that remembers d-day.

– I dont need you to think of me as a person, I’ve got women for that!

– Did you say I’ve got a great personality?! That’s what you say to people with huge bottoms that smell of buscuits!

-(on marriage) its like death, you know its coming but everyone gets sorta uncomfortable when people start talking dates.

-we are woody’s in the toy shop of romance.

-do you think threre’s such a thing as airborne calories? like their just secretly latching on to you?

– since 30, I only smile at single men, to justify the loss of elasticity.

-sally, age brings wisdom and knowledge and. . . oh susan. . .age bring you more to shave.

-every relationship has baggage, why not take it out for dinner?

When you misspeak/lack a filter:

– I’m sorry I just opened my mouth and there was a bit more in there than I expected.

-I never use my toungue on people its just for stamps and emergencies!

-I love giving opinions I’ve got hundreds of them.

– I meant to say yes. I just missed by one word.

Totally random yet funny:

-deep looks great on me.

-OOh, I love giving opinions, I’ve got hundreds of them!

-I hate phoning, you never know who’s gonna answer.

-No, I don’t talk to women when they’re emotional, they’re allowed to smack you.

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If I: wrote sketches

If I: wrote sketches for a variety show it would go something like this.

“Good Evening and Welcome to the

” Grammar in America with Solita Ohara” ( always said with a spanish/irish accent)

Tonight on “Grammar in America with Solita Ohara ” we’ll visit the women that have redifined interjections

Interjections are defined as words or phrases used to exclaim or protest or command. They sometimes stand by themselves, but they are often contained within larger structures.

But as I’m often told by viewers off “Grammar in America with Solita O’hara” I will “keep it simple stupid”.

“So, an interjection is a big name for a little word that carries way more … than one could imagine.

“For example. one can read ‘Ugh!’ and infer disgust but here on Grammar in America with Solita O’hara’ we also like to keep it real by guiding with practical application.

a few weeks ago we met a young college student Becky and as an attractive young women she has had to learn not to mince words, especially in sticky situations. look here.”

(show’s silly interns silently act out different scenarios when she says no with obivous/different faces and body language

Solita- ” So apparently here, ‘No!’, is quite obviously filled with the meaning

(in Becky’s voice) “you’re gross and you never had a chance thinking you could talk me with that breath.”

a few days later we encounter the same young lady Becky now in the context of a concert: we find that “wooo! translates to: I’m your biggest fan even though I’ve never heard of you until tonight and or i didn’t even know you’d be here but the night is young and i’m a little tipsy! at the end of the night we see the same situation from the day before and learn that the the second meaning to our concert interjection could be true for either situation.”

I guess it would be a parody for or with Soledad O’brien. Everyone loves her so she could do a special on anything. Right!? don’t worry I’ll be keeping my day job, wait, I mean just keep it as a day dream. That’s a more applicable reference.

-end scene

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those were the days….

while wondering if I’d ever grow up, I realize that I have. The other night, these memories came back with a startling force and left me giggling like the eight year old who dared to LIVE!

once upon a dream i recognized telephone numbers by their tones and assigned numbers to letters like codes and anything said to me I could say it backwards.
I remember discovering palindromes and that noon’s swing was a pendulum.
I made caricatures that made the boys laugh hard and some so much that you could hear them fart.
I’d red light and green light like a thief in the night and break like a skid mark when leaders change their minds.
I could fall face flat in the midst of a crowd and pick myself up and drown out the sounds to continue strutting my stuff.
with my neon slap bracelet and British Knight kicks
and those bright curly laces and Cross Colors lids.

I made haters feel like mounds under my feet, as I skipped and I lept and I bound to my own beat, I sang through the halls like a frauline’s Alps.
My heels were alive with the sounds of heart
and my heart wall filled with double dutch ropes and a painter guy called da Vinci I’d done a report on.
I flit and flee-d ’til I could not bare to stand with the world spinning round me with all of its plans
the domed jungle gym held that world at bay ’til whistles blew catching the last kickball of the game.
The coolness of staying up somewhat late and watching the Cosbys with the whole fam at eight.
playing Luigi with the big kids cuz you could never be Mario and moving the controls like a frog with a fit like yO!.
knowing all of the songs where we crossed and we clapped with senorita turns and that jig-ga-lo dance.
reading my rainbows were my biggest tasks and mami wanting me to roll downhill a little less ragged.
as well as brushing my teeth and going to bed so I get up the next morning and do it again.
now that i’ve grown up outside my champion forts
life snuck up behind me and sent me to traffic court.
I’ve been fined for nostalgia in a meeting mid morning

and its time to walk up now cuz i think . . . i am snoring.

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If I:

This may not be clear from other posts but I have a lot of time on my hands. . .a lot. So I’ve decided to subscribe to the tried and true diversion called If I. This game is best played in barbershops and in an “outside” voice in the movies. However, it is not limited to nor confined to said places. Still don’t know what it is? Well, If I will be my new weekly post where I talk about life’s random possibilities/improbabilities. For example, next weeks issue will be: If I Wrote Sketches.

I’m really hoping that designating times to post these thoughts might make me less socially awkward. Maybe this can serve as a therapy of sorts that will enable me to actually listen to whole conversions and let others finish their thoughts without immediately interjecting with unfiltered foolishness. (apparently this is “not okay” to do to acquaintances, supervisors, and others unaccustomed to my winning ways!) I guess I’m trying this out as a considerate citizen.

Stay tuned for a subjunctive world without gavels . And If I am consistent that will surprise all of us.

-til next time….

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Convoluted Xmas

Today I discovered the perceived irony of the abbreviation “Xmas”, thanks to my computer’s encyclopedia! World Book 2004, (YES! I’m proud of my MAC-osaur) is a bangin’ application I found earlier this evening while making space for other pass-times, (TV on dem innanets a.k.a. TV on-line). It has all these cool features. I spent hours just looking up the origins of words (another hobby), but soon, with the aid of a feature named Time Frame I searched the ages surrounding Jesus’ life! Unfortunately, I had to actually type in His name to find Him. His vignette included a snippet on Christmas and origins of the festivities we enjoy today. Many, if not most, novelties of today’s Christmas were founded in paganism. So taking the “Christ” out of of the season seemed to serve as a suitable abbreviation as it originally had nothing to do with His birth. It had more to do with the celebration of the end of the year’s harvest but I’ll save that for a later post.

To my disbelief the use of the abbreviation “Xmas” was something else entirely. I found this as I read:

The word Xmas is sometimes used instead of Christmas. This tradition began in the early Christian church. In Greek, X is the first letter of Christ’s name. It was frequently used as a holy symbol.

WHaaaa! I was misled. I believed “Xmas” was a way to take Christ out of the celebration. “The More You Know” ?! NBC has never promoted words so true. “Find Out Information For Yourself ” will now be the spoof provided by any given actor from the “The Office” on “SNL”.

Back to the topic, it was . . .cool for lack of a more grown-up word, to recognize the antiquated iconography that we love so much today. The “X” is actually a symbol? They could have rocked that on a jersey/shield/sheath/other relative regalia! (“When I say, “JE,” you say “SUS!” “JE-SUS! JE-SUS!”)

I also think maybe that initial evolved* from the fish or the symbol Christ’s followers donned in Paul’s day. On the other hand, it could be related to the cross which to me is a symbol of sacrifice/love? I prefer the fish but reason points to the latter.

ALRIGHT! Again, I’ve devoured time and page with far too many words to arrive at the other end of another random fact/origin.

-Tootles! (anglo- a tout a l’heure. Eek, I couldn’t stop myself. )

*sorry to those who oppose to my use of the word “evolve” and Jesus in the same context.

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Click, Search, Click

As much as I detest when people use the site as a verb, YouTube is always there for a good laugh and my incessant search modes!

While watching one of my favorite pass-times on “So You Think You Can Dance” I was mesmerized by both this kid Billy Bell and the song he danced to. The voice sounded familiar but I just couldn’t pin-point it. So of course  I went to the  YouTube the Grand figuring someone had to have posted something about this Billy Bell kid, who by the way you must see for yourself.

After typing in his name, numerous clips  of him were listed. Not a bad way to spend an hour in the middle of the night (I’m clearly still unemployed). Finally, I found a clip of him performing the same piece I’d seen on the SYTYCD!  The song still wasn’t mentioned! GUH! So I, obsessive as I can be at times, re-played the clip until I heard discernible lyrics and  typed that bad boy into google’s search joint! Yes I did! and I found it! Build a Home by  Cinematic Orchestra featuring the very familiar Patrick Watson. I got my LIFE for another 30 minutes  and then found more of their stuff and settled in with another one of their songs called “Breathe”. Ahhhhhh. Goodtimes!

YouTube you’ve done it again. Again, you’ve enabled me to waste countless hours searching and clicking my life away to unknown/unexpected pleasantries.

-Huzzah!

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