Category Archives: if i

if i believed. . .

in love. It would be so grand to actually believe in the fairytales that have been brow-beaten into ours minds/hearts,  where life unfolds like a long awaited letter from that unrequited love, and we finally go for broke and strike oil in rash and stolen kisses under some abondoned arch or inviting corridor.

Would it be so grand or make matters worse if we truly believed this??? would this belief cloud the reality of the situation and push us into other delusions or open our eyes to other possibilities. . . dunno.

I saw this on a favored site and thought. . .

“This could totally turn out like a dream followed by

and end with a

klimt the kiss

but that’s just a movie called ‘Valentine’s Day’ right? “

or, if it doesn’t turn out how we planned we’d just be so

“relieved that we lived for once and just did it?”

or. . . .

and mortified.

I guess real-life application will teach us that

a little bit of both is possible.

Not that I’m biased but I really do want to believe in the fairytale. Part of it at least. The healthy bit of it where  I’ll just be able to shake it off (if it doesn’t unfold as i’d hoped) with a non-chalant “c’est la vie”.  Sadly, somehow that phrase has been overlooked in my many misses.

-too much time on my hands


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I sigh because it’s been eons since i’ve been on this bad. It’s prolly clear by now that a weekly “if i’ just ain’t gon’ happen. The fact that I haven’t really had a reliable moment catcher for over a year has not helped with updates either. but hopefully that can change. i’ve discovered the joys of really expensive batteries. shout out to Enegizer advance LITHIUUUUUM! Also, I’ve found turning off the camera when I’m not using it to be dually effective. I’m pretty much rubbish at posting pics but i shall try or at least provide an abundance of links to pictures.

Now for a quick recap for my peeps who dont see me or visit me in my cove.

  • first up. my gifted mac G4 is in limbo and my cousin keisha heard my situation by a third party and hooked me up with this adorable purple ACER netbook LILIIII! whatchu know about FAM!?
  • in other news, I’m training for a half marathon (13.1 mi) on May 2. i will hit mile 9  or vice versa on sun. eeeeeKuh.
  • going mad over fabric/notions every 3rd day at hancock fabrics, my new besty
  • trading tips with and randomly bumping into Tawns(another new fav)
  • got my LIFE with nunz when she came through for a drive-by visit.
  • been babysitting the munchkins Brooks. too cute and too smart for their own good. leaders of tomorrow in the MAKIIIIING!!!
  • sewing of course. if i haven’t already accosted your fb page with the link here it is agaaaaain!
  • also, too, and, i’ve been singing with my sistas.  wish i had a link and or link for the concert we participated in last weekend. we opened for joey kibble from Take 6. such a homie.
  • i’m still looking for a part-time gig at the VERY least, so keep your ears. . . open???
  • recently fallen for The Arrows, Mumford and Sons these people are money! and they love JESUUUUUS! soo. thanks homies of homies who got that into gear.
  • also can’t get enough of Judy Garland. she and Liza were truly kindreds whether mami and daughter or not.
  • have had a hankering for skating and bowling. so far i’ve only been skating. i was trying to do it every two weeks but ya’ll know how i do with that.
  • writing a long overdue update.

So what’s next? who knows. you tell me.


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If I: T-shirts

If I were a tee shirt I’d bark orders at people or state the obvious with a Bob Barker/Oprah voice like:

1. Raise your hand if you hate crowd participation!

2. State the opposite of what you want with fained enthusiasm if you hate sarcasm.

3. Learn unnecessary information about a celebrity today!

4. Let a girl know you’re reading her shirt before you just start staring at her chest. its works much better.

5. Tell your kid to shut up before I do!

6. Stare disapprovingly at the smokers! (best worn near public astrays)

7. STOP yelling in slow-mo. I SPEAK ENGLISH!

8. I didn’t steal your job, The Governator did!

9. I’m not gay but I can appreciate refracted light!
(aimed at the stingy gays)

10. proud pescatarian.

(with pic of a chicken in the middle)

probablilties ≠ always equal stereotypes.


(til next time)


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if I: door fixtures

So I’m a bit bitter toward packaging and inventors today. these products/projects are mutually appreciated when properly utilized. however, they are also a nuisance when taken out of context and or common sense. though most listings do not immediately correlate to said annoyances, I figured you could use the explanation.

That said, I give you: If I Were A Door Knob.

If I were a door knob, I would:

1. be smarter than some packaging for a pair of scissors and or the person who decided to put them in the impenetrable plastic which needs scissors or a laser gun to open.

2. pat the man on the back who designed in-door plumbing then smack and turn my nose up at the guy who invented TWO SEPARATE faucets in the same sink for “hot” and “cold”. was he not aware of the ramifications. did he never test this? like the temperature of the water. . .like ever?!

3. not be nearly as cool as the the chain and hook in the back/top of the toilet. theat inventor knew his stuff. If you’ve ever had a problem with the flushing handle you feel me, others, you too shall feel it’s wrath .

4. be nearly as filthy as most computer keyboards. but not for long (see no.5)

5. be a renewable source of anti-bacterial liquid or serious germ killing mist that will still enable you to build up anti bodies to fight off H1N1. or however that works.

6. move close to and turn in toward the door jam to make snide and apathetic people remember they too can feel.

7. back away when i see peoples fingers linger between the jam and the door. or lick them so they retreat them in disgust. it think it’d but much more acceptable than the hail storm of pain the door’s got waiting for them. even as a door knob i’d be gangsta!

8. a round sensible one that’s hard to open/close when you’re holding too much stuff. and say stuff like “stop being lazy and save your back”. yes, i’d be an unlicensed therapist too. call me Dr. Phil.

9. still be jamaican with all these jobs/abilities.

10. still be a sexy beast!

and it seems that ten is the magic number cuz who can beat that!

-hydrating the corneas

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